Changeling Aspects
For Parents of Gender-Variant Young
For Parents of Gender-Variant Young
Links from Synopsis of Transsexualism
International Links from TranssexualRoadMap
GenderBridge -NZ A Great Site with a Vast Amount of Info.. See their "Resource" section.
Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Counsellors
Hair Removal & Facial Rejuvenation Etc
Queensland Police Service LGBTI Liaison
Australia's Internet Safety Advisory Body
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Kathy's Komments This page will have regular comments from Kathy. |
"Conformity is the jailer of
freedom and the enemy of growth."
( John F. Kennedy - Address to the UN
General Assembly-(25 September 1961.) -http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy
SUPPORT / HELP
What I am about to write is sad and painful, but it needs to be said!
It never ceases to amaze me at the “Support, Help, Understanding and Mutual Assistance” that is not forthcoming from the TS community!
However, I can see a possible explanation when one considers the following:
In many cases it is seen as a ‘right’ to ask and receive Support/Help, but who are they asking, and where do they imagine they received this ‘right’ to demand assistance from others.
It is not a ‘right’, but a privilege to receive assistance of any kind. It is also the magnanimous natures of the people giving the help, regardless of the context in which the help is offered. It may be from Charitable Organisations, or Private Individuals, it matters not, the assistance is still born of compassion and generosity, not – someone’s ‘right’ to assistance.
Regrettably, the ‘norm’ appears to be; to receive that Support/Help and to then turn their back on the people who have helped! This self-centredness, indifference and ingratitude is disappointing at best, and incomprehensible at worst, when considering that the people supplying the assistance are doing it at their own cost of time, effort, experience and funds.
The attitude of the askee: ‘Self and Me, Me, Me,’ comes over all too strongly.
It is understood that one needs to focus on the difficult passage of transition etc, but what really hurts is that after the Support/Help has been given and accepted, the person giving it is quite literally dropped! ‘Focus’ is one thing, but self-obsession, selfishness are quite another. An absence of sincere gratitude maybe understood at times, but blatant ingratitude, thoughtlessness and indifference is difficult to digest. Even more hurtful is the fact that these same people have no hesitation in coming back and asking for more, as and when it suits them to do so!
Do they not consider that we are human too?
No thanks is offered in most cases to the person concerned, for their time, effort and, yes, hard earned expertise that has been offered without hesitation, but is considered that it should not be paid for, either in cash or kind, or sincere gratitude & graciousness – simply ‘take and run’. It is all too glibly accepted as their ‘Right’ to demand assistance, as if we were some Government Dept. which has been set up and funded for this specific purpose. We are not.
I have been in this situation since 2001, and am finding it increasingly hard to sustain my position. I am now questioning whether all the effort has been at all worthwhile. We at Changeling Aspects do our best to help people to achieve their rights, but receive very little in return. There are a very few who do show their appreciation, but most just selfishly turn away, as the ‘I’m OK Jack’ plays its part!
If you want us to continue to Support/Help you, then put something back in. We gave of ourselves and information, so, is it too much to expect some Support/Help in return?
We are tired of fighting an uphill battle, with very little Support/Help from others in the Trans Community who have benefited from our Support/Help, and who are only too ready to accept what is gained without any significant input on their part!
Kathy 28/04/2007
