Changeling Aspects
For Parents of Gender-Variant Young
For Parents of Gender-Variant Young
Links from Synopsis of Transsexualism
International Links from TranssexualRoadMap
GenderBridge -NZ A Great Site with a Vast Amount of Info.. See their "Resource" section.
Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Counsellors
Hair Removal & Facial Rejuvenation Etc
Queensland Police Service LGBTI Liaison
Australia's Internet Safety Advisory Body
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Kathy's Komments This page will have regular comments from Kathy. |
"Conformity is the jailer of
freedom and the enemy of growth."
( John F. Kennedy - Address to the UN
General Assembly-(25 September 1961.) -http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy
Donna Patricia Kelly
I HAVE COME INTO CONTACT WITH Donna recently, she lives in the UK. We correspond on issues of importance within the Transsexual community. This way, we can keep each other informed of any points of interest that we maybe able to use to the advantage of all.
Kathy - 12/04/2007
Eggshell Theory
by Donna Patricia Kelly
So, there are two types of transsexualism in the literature:
Primary, or early-onset. Where the youngster is always insistent that she is the opposite sex to that recorded on the birth certificate.
Secondary, or late-onset, where the person is in her thirties, forties, or even older, and comes to the realisation that things are wrong, and need fixing.
So the question is, why would a person deny her transsexualism until much later in life? Perhaps even after she got married and fathered children? I call it Eggshell Theory. What's that? 'Tis simple enough.
The young trans person grows to puberty, it's a bitch, has many social problems, and then starts to conform with family and societal expectations. After all the 'boy' has a willy, does 'he' not, and every one is telling 'him' what a fine young man 'he' is.
'He' sees boys at school getting beaten senseless just because they were suspected of being homosexual. Where he lives emphasises straightness to the nth degree. The word transvestite was not in people's vocabularies, let alone transsexual. No-one had even heard of the latter, and our young man certainly had not any inkling that such a person could even exist.
'He' cross-dresses (as he comes to think of it), and he is terrified out of his wits that anyone might find out. His fear is real and fully justified. At the very least, 'he' would be ostracised. actually quite likely to end up in casualty, and possibly even maimed. He is so ignorant, he doesn't even know that a worse fate could await him. 'He' could, if 'he' reported his problem to the medics, be forcibly given drugs and electric shocks to the brain.
But he is pubertal, and sexual urges are real. The need to hide personal reality is paramount.
So what does 'he' do? Well, one common reaction is to just go wild. 'He' screwed everything in sight - mostly female, but occasionally male - and was a drunkard. 'He' said to himself, I'm going to be a proper man, and this is what men do. 'He' even got into fights. (And became feared, because 'his' rage was driven by 'his' terror of being found out). Eventually, 'he' built up a male persona, as a personality overlay. He did it by method acting, where he /became/ the character he was trying to imitate. He watched men, and tried to imitate them. He learned, and got good enough to get by, but it was never a perfect imitation.
He put more and more layers onto the persona, such that by the time 'he' was eighteen, 'he' had come to believe it himself.
The Eggshell got thicker and thicker. 'He' got married, and had children. By this time, of course, the personality overlay was so solid that the gender issues were just buried. And over the years, of course, more and more layers were added onto the Eggshell of the false persona.
But eventually, her true personality, the female one, wanted OUT.
And she started kicking the eggshell to bits, from the inside. That hurt. A lot. It was a thick eggshell, with many layers added over the years. Cracks started appearing. The 'cross-dressing' came back. It became more frequent. And finally, the Eggshell really started to crumble. Kick it to bits from the inside, she did, and she got out. She started going out in public as herself. Because she felt she just had to. That was when the profound Gender Dysphoria could no longer be denied. And with that awareness, she sorted it.
That is transsexualism for the older person. We did really fool ourselves that we were 'men'. We were really good method actors. We believed in our roles. It all failed later in life. The Eggshell of our male persona was smashed. It was just an overlay on top of the real personality. 'Nuff said.
