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A Letter to Mum and Dad from a Young Australian.
THOSE Poms know how to hurt. Not satisfied with virtually snatching the Ashes back, they are laughing their heads off over a putative letter from a young Queenslander from Eromanga in the state's far southwest.
Reader Stuart, of Burpengary, has received an email which is spreading like wildfire in England. It purports to be a "letter to Mum and Dad" from a young Australian who has just joined the army.
*****
"I am well. The army is better than workin' on the farm.
I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am.
But I like sleeping in now, cuz; all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bid and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform.
No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack ‑ nothin!!
Blokes haz gotta shave though, but it's not so bad, coz lotsa hot water and even a light to see what doing!
This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter I keep getting medals for shootin'‑ dunno why.
The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum, and it don't move, and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows just before the Ekka last Year!
All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target ‑ it's a piece of cake!!
Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy.
It's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers.
He's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders, and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin'wet, but I fought him till the blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can't complain about the army.
Tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
‑ Your loving daughter. Jill."
NB: Actual Author Unknown..... is one of these little email forwards....
